As many of you know, I am pretty good about giving gifts. I find out the birthdays for my closest friends and I bring them silly gifts and accompany them with handmade cards. If any of you are wondering how I always manage to get the best possible gift, I’ll let you in on a bit of a secret. This is my guide to giving gifts that make everyone smile (and hate you a little).
Step 1: Who is receiving the gift?
One of the most important aspects of gift giving is to know who you are buying a gift for. You should know what they like, what their hobbies and interests are, and what they would want in a gift. First off, think of the most practical thing that they could use. Anything they would want or need that would make a great gift.
Throw it out.
That’s the worst possible idea. If you buy them something they’ll actually use, you’ve failed. Gift giving has two aspects when you buy for friends. It has an aspect of: “Wow I’m so glad you bought me a gift!” as well as the equally important: “Why would you buy me this?”
Step 2: Classic Slippers
Everyone likes slippers, and they’re incredibly impractical. In my own experience, they make great gifts because the premise of slippers is pretty funny in and of itself. Buy a gift that makes you laugh. Buy a golf player a tank top that says “#SWOLE” because, come on, he plays golf. (Beware: you will get looks at Wal-Mart while carrying it around because people think you’re buying it for yourself)
Puns are also very important in gifts. If you, for instance, know an asian girl whose last name happens to sound like the word “choo,” you should try and find her a train gift. A toy train. Or a real one. I’m not sure how wealthy you are.
Step 3: Pajamas are funny
Really this isn’t a step. Just remember that for guys and girls alike, pajamas are hilarious in general and also because you can buy them with a puppy wearing a bow tie on them. Just letting you know.
Step 4: You’re probably spending too much
A great gift, especially a joke gift, doesn’t come from the wallet. I usually only shop at Wal-Mart. That’s not only for gifts. They have really reasonable prices. Seriously.
A $10-$15 cap is pretty generous, but works well. Hopefully you’re like me and you have so few friends that you only buy gifts once every 8 months or so. If you have a job, don’t worry so much about this step. You can also usually collect a few dollars on the side of the road with a piece of cardboard that reads: “Can you help me with my first world problems?”
Step 5: The Card
The card is incredibly important. Handmade cards rely heavily on puns and make the card personal. Stay away from crayons. Colored pencils work well.
It’s important to know about their hobbies and play off of that, although a generic card saying: “Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Get Well Soon! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” is a pretty funny and safe bet. I’ll leave this up to you since my personal brand of humor usually produces cricket sounds and loud BOO’s from my friends.
And that’s all I have for you! It’s a pretty simple process. Realistically, walk into Wal-Mart and buy something that makes you laugh and hope that your friend wasn’t actually expecting something nice. Gifts are a really fun and inexpensive way to brighten someone’s day and make them smile!
In any event, my birthday is coming up. I just want to make sure everyone knows I like slippers.
Thanks for reading! I’ll be writing more like this soon. Let me know what guides I should be working on next! 🙂
New Friends and Sweet Tea 